Part 23: When Midgets Step Up, I Stomp Midget Asses

Don’t say I don’t deliver on my promises now…


So the game expects you to go right from the Downtown Greede station into the Bunker Lode Caverns. Which is actually kind of nice, and forward-thinking of the game for once.

So you hop on the train and it takes you right into the caverns.




CUTSCENE: Dragon Territory


CUTSCENE / AERA MUSIC:” Bunker Lode Caverns” (Disc 2, Track 4)


The party gathers inside the mines, with Orren coming along behind them incredibly reluctantly.


Caesar: Be careful by the ruins. That’s dragon territory.


Caesar: A number of our workers have been attacked. Generally speaking, dragons leave humans alone…


Caesar: But they don’t like people anywhere near their nest.


Caesar: For now, my dad’s suspended work in that area.




Caesar: Also, one of the dragons that lives in the ruins wears armour.




Kara: An armoured dragon?


Caesar: Crazy, right? But that’s the story.


Caesar: At least that’s what they say.


Caesar: Hey, it’s not as if I’ve seen the thing myself.




I legitimately can’t tell if he’s joking here or not.


Leonard: So then basically… going after Cisna will tick if off.


Yulie: Urgh. Figures.
Orren: When ISN’T a day with you a trip into Hell?


Caesar: Hey, no sweat!


Caesar: Dragons like me.


Caesar: …Well, probably. Anyway, it’ll be an adventure.

Oh Caesar, you just keep getting better and better.


Kara: Hmph.


So the Bunker Lode Caverns are by an large a rehash of the Nordia Tunnels only with a swapped elemental and colour pallet. In Nordia, everything was blue and water-based. In Bunker Lode, everything is red and fire-based.

Like this Red Scorpion. Which sounds like a codename for something, the more I think about it.


We also encounter Earth elementals here for the first time. I think. You know this game is bad when a guy with a near eidetic memory for bullshit minutia can’t remember things about what enemies have and haven’t appeared yet.


And of course, the Magi are here too.


I noticed I haven’t really done much to point out all the Magi soldier variants we’ve encountered thus far. Mostly because they’ve all been kind of samey.

So far we’ve seen short-sword wielding Magi Swordsman. Magi Spearmen. This guy here with the hatchet is a Magi Axeman. The guy up above ^^^^ with the big axe like Orren is wielding is the Magi Axemaster. We’ve also encountered Magi Archers. But there are two new Magi types we meet in the Bunker Lode Caversn.


These guys are the Magi Wizards. They are literally the game’s Squishy Wizards because their costumes seem to be made out of rubber. And for whatever reason they’re wearing gimp masks.




Well, three types, anyway. This is the Magi’s own brand of giant enemy, the Black Knave. They start throwing these things at you now that the Black Knight has ‘mysteriously’ disappeared from the plot.

Black Knaves are jacked up Trolls that are weak against impact attacks rather than stabbing attacks. So they’re not a true pallet swap.

Congratulations Level-5, you sort of hit the button and varied things up a little bit!




We also encounter a Red Dragon in the lower level.

I should also point out that there’s also tons of Fire Lizards and an Earth Dragon roaming about the caverns. And if you come back here after you clear this section of the story you’ll also encounter Basilisks and Golems all over the place too.


So what we need to do there is to use this lift to get down to the ruins in B1 of the Caverns.

But, this being White Knight Chronicles…




Of course we have to do some bullshit task before we can go forward.


So we have to run through the upper level of the mine and activate three generators to power up the elevator. But before you do that, you also need to clear out the Magi soldiers crowded around each generator too.






I kind of like how all the lights here are powered by what look like propane tanks. But then again, with all these compressed gas canisters everywhere, this place must be a time bomb waiting to go off. Also, they’re probably a bitch to replace, because these things are all over the place.




Hooray!


Now we get to run down this one-way staircase back to the elevator. The pile of timbre down at the base prevents you from climbing up it. Because it only should work as a shortcut when you’re done with your pointless diversion, not during it.

I will give the game credit though, at least it’s not an equidistant backtrack, as usual. See, Caesar even makes the game’s dungeons better.






Ah, here’s the last Magi soldier I was talking about. This is the Magi Commander, also sometimes called the Magi Officer. You can pick them out of crowds of Magi soldiers by their stupid pointy smokestack helmets.

Here, these guys are pushovers. In game 2, they’re goddamn nightmares to deal with. That’s because when you kill them in game 2, they transform into Gigases and you then have to kill the Gigas. It’s absolute tedium.


I stopped and looked at this hole in the ceiling because I thought it was pretty.


We get a Logic Stone to save at before we head into the Boss Fights. But let’s be honest here, nothing can save us now…


So there’s the ruins we glimpsed at the start of the chapter.


And it’s cutscene time.


CUTSCENE: Confronting Belcitane _(again)

So Belcy and company are just standing around and waiting. Quite convenient of them, no?


He’s also in the midst of a mimed conversation with Cisna. Feel free to make up whatever joke you want here about what they’re talking about.


Leonard: Cisna, I’m here!


Cisna: Aw tits, here we go… I mean—
Cisna: Leonard!

Take a shot.


Belcitane: Urgh. Must you ALWAYS show up right in the nick of time?


Belcitane: I must say, you’re starting to become a BIT of a cliché.

The game has no right to be this self-aware after the shit it’s pulled recently, yet, I will allow it, simply because it’s Belctiane. And Belcitane is incredible.


Leonard: Fine with us. Now let her go!

Ah Leonard, he doesn’t even bother arguing when Belcitane straight-up implies he’s a terribly written character.


Luckily, Caesar steps up and shoves Leonard out of the spotlight for the rest of the chapter.


Caesar: Hey, he’s one of the Magi? …Gotta say, I’m digging his haircut.

You beautiful bastard, Caesar. Although with those dreds, are you really one to comment on another person’s hair?


Belcitane: Oh? Found another friend, have we? Bah! Raise a whole army!


Belcitane: You still won’t stand a chance against us! Uh ha ha ha hah!

Behind Belcy’s back, one of the Magi soldiers starts whispering to Shapur.


Shapur nods and heads into the ruins.


You’re time as a background character is coming to an end, buddy! It’s nearly here!




Eldore: You do know you’re wasting your time searching these ruins, right?
Orren: You got any other tips you want to pass along to this doof to make things easier for him, old man?


Belcitane: If you mean for the Ark, we’re waiting, not searching.


Belcitane: The dragon who carries it has to return sometime.


Leonard: Why wait? We’ll take care of you right now!


Belcitane: Oh really?


Belcitane: You’ll help pass the time?




Belcitane: How kind of you!


BOSS FIGHT(s): Belctiane, Gigas x2, Dragon Matriarch, and Sargatanas Boss Fights (with commentary by nine-gear crow and Blind Sally)

Not quite up to the standard set by “Riproarin’ Reptile,” but it’ll do.


So Belcitane, it turns out is also a Squishy Wizard. He fights with a staff and has some powerful tier II and III magic attacks from all four elements. He’s also defended by four Magi Swordsmen.

Belcitane also has his share of boss battle dialog too:
Belcitane: This time it’s CURTAINS for you!
Leonard: I remember you!
Caesar: What? Is he a friend of your’s?



I went into this fight hilariously over-leveled so I kick the shit out him something fierce.

Normally this series of battles in this game is derided by players as “That One Boss”-level stuff.


CUTSCENE: Upping the Stakes

Belcitane: Alright.




Belcitane: Let’s dispense with the foreplay!

Belcitane likes it rough, I guess.


CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Gigantes” (Unreleased Track)

Two of his Magi goons step up as that tense Gigas Battle music that’s not on the soundtrack starts playing again.




Magi Soldier: Adveni!




Magi Soldier: Adveni!






I love how we’ve already moved past the shock and horror of people deploying Gigases in combat now.




So on the left we have Betataria Gigas (the dung beetle looking one) and on the right is a Betapente Gigas (the bird-like one)


Caesar: Dude! You could have warned me about this!
Orren: Welcome to Hell, bitch. Take a seat. You’re gonna be here for a while.

Standard Gigas Practice ensues. Whip out the White Knight and stab both of them to death at once if you can.

The White Knight doesn’t appear in these screenshots because I want to mitigate Leoanrd’s presence in this chapter, but I do begrudgingly use him for the Knight in the battle video.

…And I’m about to get probated by geop for White Knighting, aren’t I?

Dammit.


Anyway, Tweedlebig and Tweedlelarge go down like bitches, so now by rights there should be nothing standing in the way of Leonard transforming into the White Knight properly and scooping up Cisna from Belcitane’s stubby clutches and kicking him into orbit again.


Nothing at all.


Nothing…


At…


Fuck.


CUTSCENE: Mother of Dragons
CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Tense Battle” (Disc 1, Track 30)

Leonard: It’s the dragon!


Eldore: And it makes the one in the Flandars seem small in comparison.


Caesar: Damn. That’s how to make an entrance. Woohoo!


The Dragon Matriarch swoops overhead, surveying the battlefield.




She clips the rocks on the mouth of the chasm, causing gigantic boulders to tumble down onto everyone.




Uh-oh.






Cisna: AAAAH!

I would have loved it if one of those boulders just randomly landed on Cisna and crushed her to death, just to see how the game would change now that the living McGuffin the entire plot turned on was excised from the story.


Leonard: Cisna, NO!

Take half a shot. He did follow it up with a noun, after all.


Belcitane: Yes, that’s it. Get nice and angry!


So now that we know Belctinate is actually some sort of wizard, he starts busting out actual magic powers on us.








In this case, just teleporting himself and Cisna away. I’m not counting this as a third kidnapping because they’re coming right back after the next boss fight.




Yulie: What the—? Where’d they go?
Eldore: Clever. He wants the dragon to finish us off for him.


Caesar: Well, would you rather talk about…


Caesar: Or do something about it?

Caesar: stepping up the hero plate Leonard has long-since abdicated since the fucking moment he entered the story!


The Dragon Matriarch comes fluttering down to ground level. Kind of stupid on her part, since it places her on even ground with the party, who can’t attack her while she’s in the air.


Even blinded by murderous rage, she’s still cogent enough to abide by sportsmanlike conduct.


How nice of her.




This is probably the single longest Boss Subtitle in the entire game.


Dragon Matriarch: You will taste our RAGE!
Leonard: Damn! Another trap?!
Dragon Matriarch: NO APPLOGY CAN SAVE YOU!
Leonard: I’ve had enough of dragons!

So like all dragons, the Dragon Matriarch is weak to impact attacks. And that’s about it. She’s really strong, and I remember having to take like two or three tries at beating her the first time I played this game, but again because I’m over-leveled I kind of plough right through her in the video.
Just like the Black Knight and the Ancient Dragon, she’s got some powerful attacks with her wings that can knock you down if you’re not in Knight mode.


CUTSCENE: The Dragon Knight

The Matriarch roars in defeat.






And then seemingly calms down…


Yulie: What’s she doing?


Caesar: No idea…


Caesar: But she finally seems to realise we’re not the enemy.


Dragon Matriarch: I made a terrible mistake this day.

Welcome to my world, lady.

Dragon Matriarch: The death of my beloved child made me blind with grief and rage. I did not know I was savaging the one person I am destined to serve.


Leonard: Huh?


Eldore: The one who is to receive the Dragon’s Ark…


Caesar: Well whadaya know.


And of course, Belcitane and crew pop back in at this very moment.

CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Attack” (Disc 1, Track 11)






Leonard: Cisna!

Take a shot.




Belcitane: I have to admit, that didn’t turn out quite the way I had hoped…


Belcitane: But that’s alright.


Belcitane: For you see, friends…


Belcitane: I have a Gigas too!
Orren: Oooof course you do.
Belcitane: One with power that puts your oversized lizard’s to shame! Come forth, Sargatanas!




Belcitane: ADVENI!




This is also the point in the plot where that whole “a pact with a Gigas is a soul-eating, corrupting curse that comes with a great cost” thing goes right out the goddamn window too. The Magi just start casually throwing Gigases out like they’re fucking Pokémon cards from here on out.

I suppose you could make the argument that this is the reason why Belcitane is such a fucked up evil prick, because he’s been the Pactmaker some screwed up Super Gigas this whole time and it’s driven him comically insane… But the game would simply laugh at your attempts to actually plug one of its myriad plotholes.















Belcitane: RAAAAAGH!




Even Belcitane’s Gigas form is dumpy and fat. Guy can’t catch a break when it comes to body shape.




Sargatanas stomps towards the Matriarch…


While the party just stares on dumbfounded.

Hey, shit-for-brains! I know this is Caesar’s chapter and all, but did you want to transform into the White Knight at any point now? I think the Dragon Matriarch is kind of in serious jeopardy here, seeing as how Belcitane is a villain in this game and therefore actually competent.

Ya know?


Nope. Instead of doing something heroic, Leonard just stands there while Belcy whips out his freaky face-tail, aaaaand….


IM A FIRING MAH LAZOR!




BLAAAAAAAGH!








But because she’s essentially wearing an Incorruptus on her body, the shot bounces harmlessly off her wing armour.








She lets down her guard for a moment…


And Belcy nails her in the face with the trick shot.






Okay, seriously, Leonard. Now’s the time to do something heroic.


She’s getting her ass kicked.


TRANSFORM YOU STUPID USELESS SHITSACK!


Sargatanas closes in for the kill while Leonard struggles to remember he has the power of an Incorruptus at his disposal.


The Matriarch starts backing up, knowing she’s all but cornered now and rescue sure as shit is not coming from the only possible source it can at this point.




She keeps backing up, eventually stepping on a trap tile.




Dragon Matriarch: Urgh. Fuck my life…




Bolts of magical energy start to form all around her.


Yep.


She’s fucked.


We now get an extended sequence of sheer silence as the Dragon Matriarch gets pummeled over and over again with magical bolts until she collapses.

It’s a very tragic and somber scene, but it kind of lacks something without music. In the commentary for the video I suggest maybe playing something like “The End of the Battle” from the Shadow of the Colossus soundtrack. Blind Sally suggested something completely inappropriate and mood-killing like a 90’s pop song.

So with that in mind, I present: “The Death of the Dragon Matriarch” The Tasteful Version – The Ruined Version

And before anyone gets pedantic with me, yes I know “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” came out in 1977, but there was no way I was not including it in that mix. There is nothing more poignant moment-ruining than an upbeat song about how hot sex eventually drives people insane.














Well, here’s another one to add to the long list of “Beings Who Died Because Leonard Showed Up Somewhere” – We’re now at Ahwahnee, Lena, the Ancient Dragon and the Dragon Matriarch. And we’re nowhere near finished his killstreak yet.


Cisna: Fuck it, I don’t want to be rescued anymore. This kid only brings death with him wherever he goes.










Down goes Frasier!


Belcitane: Gotcha!

He even does a little Gigas fist pump too. God, what I wouldn’t give for everyone else to just fuck right off and have this game be a buddy movie starting Belcitane and Caesar.


Caesar: Gah! She’s in trouble! Those bastards! They laid a trap for her!
Leonard: Gods, I feel so helpless. I wish there was something I could do…
Everyone: USE YOUR KNIGHT, YOU IDIOT!
Leonard: What’s a—


Caesar: Fuck this.


He tears off to try and help her.


Yulie: Caesar!
Leonard: Come back, man! You’re supposed to stand around awkwardly like the rest of us!








Caesar: Hey! Hang in there!


Dragon Matriarch: …It… It is you…


Dragon Matriarch: The power… brought you here… guided us together….

CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Sinca’s Children” (Disc 2, Track 15)


Caesar: What?


Dragon Matriarch: For countless years I have protected… this power… Waiting… to return it to you…


Dragon Matriarch: And now, the time has come.


Dragon Matriarch: Take it, my child…




She turns into a bright flash of light and disappears.


























Caesar: This— This is the Dragon’s Ark.


Ghost Dragon Matriarch: Use it wisely. Power such as this can wreak great destruction… Yes. But, it can also be used for good. I know you will do the right thing. I believe in you, my child.


Ghost Dragon Matriarch: I must go now, my planet needs me.




Caesar: W—wait!




Caesar: You’ve done your duty well. I’ll watch over the Ark now.




Cisna: Finally! Someone who might know how to use one of these things properly!

She starts gibberishing it up again.


Belcy looks down, no doubt pissed at the development.


Cisna: Who has two thumbs and wants all of you to go right to fucking Hell? Spoiler alert: If I could move my arms I’d be saying “this bitch!” right now.


Cisna: Don’t fuck this one up, Marley.




Caesar’s overcome with a sudden burst of Ancient Knowledge downloaded into his brain from the Ark by Cisna.

Caesar: Gah!






Caesar: Now I see!


Belcitane: What did she do?!


Belcitane: Don’t tell me… HE’S the one?!


Best line of the whole damn game coming up in 3… 2… 1…


Caesar: Hey! Jackass the Giant!


Caesar: I don’t usually get pissed off, but if you’ve got any last words…


Caesar: Say ‘em!


CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Crimson Dragon” (Disc 2, Track 5)


Belcitane: Hrumph. Little gnat. You can be the first to—


Belcitane: DIE!!!


Belcitane takes a wild haymaker swing at Caesar.




Oh I guess he died then.

…Wait, I’ve used that joke before. And this game has used that ploy before.


Luckily, we’re spared the drawn out “Did they really kill the hero” bit we got with Leonard, as Caesar immediately parkours out of harm’s way.






Caesar: Wuh-ho! Too slow there, clayfeet!


Caesar: Hey. Now it’s my turn!






Caesar: O Larvayne…


Caesar: Vermillion drake…


Caesar: Leveler of ancient lands…






Caesar: Grant me your power!




Caesar: Say goodnight, asshole!










Caesar: VERTO!
































Behold: the Dragon Knight.


Eldore: The Knight!
Leonard: Damn. I wish I could do that!
Eldore: I wish you could too.


Kara: Him?!


Kara: …Why him?

Aww, is someone jealous for cryptic reasons?


Yulie: Wow! Caesar!

Someone has the most confused ladyboner right now.


Belcitane: Oh ho! The great Dragon Knight awakens!


Belcitane: But if I can break the Pactmaker…


Belcitane: I can break the pact!


And now we get another boss fight with Belcitane.






Belcitane in his Gigas form is a real prick. He has a nasty habit of rushing at you immediately and trapping you against the invisible walls of the arena, because Knight combat suddenly doesn’t become any less obtuse and awkward now that we’ve got access to the best non-Black Knight, non-Arc Knight Incorruptus in the game.

Caesar: Alright, time for a little payback!
Belcitane: Hah! There’s no way you can win!
Caesar: Who’s funny now, clown man?
Belcitane: Aaaaahahahaha! Die like a good little brat!



The real threat for this chapter, gameplay-wise was the Matriarch. Now that she’s gone, the Sargatanas boss fight is merely cathartic gravy. Sargatanas is weak to stabbing attacks, and seeing as how the Dragon Knight wields a giant fuck off spear, that’s the only attacks it really has.

Caesar: Wait. Why is this so easy?

Because I powerleved you with a Game Genie in order to get content out faster.


So all you need to do is stab the sun’bitch in the chest…


Until he goes down.

Belcitane: WHAT?! Where did you gain such power?!


Like so.

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